4 Words I'll Say More in 2015 | Occasionally Crafty: 4 Words I'll Say More in 2015

January 6, 2015

4 Words I'll Say More in 2015

Some say parents are destined to ruin their children, in one way or another.
Maybe I've already ruined my kids a little.  But I know it's not too late to fix the damage I've done.
See, I have a daughter who's changed over the past few years.
Once a barrel of sunshine, now she's full of tears and anxiety.  Once confident in her abilities, she now calls herself stupid, even "the dumbest kid in the world".
I'd like to believe that none of that came from me, but I have to be honest with myself.
I can't believe you got a D.  I know you know this stuff.  What's wrong with you?

How can you forget your homework again?  Why is it so hard for you to remember?  Everyone else remembers!

Though the words are said in frustration and usually apologized for, words have a very strong power over us.  Especially words from someone you love and trust.
So this year, I have a goal to say these four little words more often.
I'm proud of you.

Sure, experts warn us not to use praise too often, that kids will stop hearing it if it's not sincere.
They don't mean for us not to use it at all.  And I think I've forgotten many times to praise my children for work well done, for struggles overcome, for doing something hard.
So the next time she remembers her homework all week, I'll tell her I'm proud of her for working hard to remember.  When she takes a test, I'll give her a hug and tell her I'm proud of how she studied and prepared.  And even when she struggles, I'll make sure she knows that I love her, no matter what.
I believe in the end, as long as our children know our love for them is unconditional, they will be all right.
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21 comments:

  1. Your efforts are incredible! From a teenager who is still slowly recovering from things my mom said to me (and didn't say) when I was still a kid, it makes me happy to know that you're trying to reverse it! Good luck, I can promise you she will appreciate the efforts!

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    1. Thanks for your thoughts. I wish you well as you find your own happiness now- and your words are definitely even more inspiration for me to do better!

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  2. Thank you for this! I need to remember to notice the good in my kids, not just when they mess up!

    Mandi @ Our Life Out Here

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    1. Thanks Mandi! You think that would be the easy part- but I just get caught up in day to day survival that it takes conscious effort to notice the positive. Here's to s great year!

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  3. Our kids so need to hear us utter those words more often. Thanks so much for this.

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    1. They really do! Thanks for stopping by Kimberly!

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  4. I really appreciate this post. As a mother of 2 kids (girls both under 7), I can imagine one day being in your shoes one day soon.

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    1. Thanks Theresa. It domes sooner than you think it will! Enjoy those girls!

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  5. TOTALLY agree! our children definitely need to know how proud of them we are. It shows them that no matter how something turns out, that trying their best is what proves a great person.

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  6. I definitely try to incorporate more positives in my communication with my girls. My middle child loves to tantrum so when I see an incident where she acting appropriately, I tell her.

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    1. It really does help, especially with the younger ones! thanks for stopping by Aimee!

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  7. This is a beautiful post! You've inspired me to create a list of words that I, too would like to use more in this brand new year! Thank you! :)

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    1. Thanks Jennifer! I appreciate you stopping by and reading!

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  8. As a mom of a 2 year old, I am reminded daily of exactly what comes out of my mouth. "Shut up stupid dogs"..."Oh what the heck"..."That is so gross"... and her dad has the mouth of a Marine but luckily the F bomb has yet to be repeated (maybe it is because it is from her dad and not my mouth!!) But either way, you post is spot on that no matter the age, we always have to remember to mind our mouths. Good luck on your positive reinforcement!!

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    1. Thanks Christine! It's so eye-opening when they start copying us, huh? I appreciate you stopping by!

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  9. This is so important! As I'm older (but still in school), I can tell you that it is extremely nice to hear those things even from my parents now. The worse things definitely stick longer than the positive, so that's why you have to emphasize the positive. I love it!

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  10. I love this! Great reminder to strive to always be our children's biggest cheerleaders.

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  11. I love this! When kids know their parents are proud of them no matter what it really makes a difference!

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  12. This is a great post and I will try to do the same with my kids.

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  13. Great words! It is so important to offer praise to our kids!

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