Acceptance: A Mother's Work Is Never Done

Welcome to the Deliberate Motherhood series!  If this is your first post, you can see the rest of them here.  There are 12 Powers that help bring peace, order, and joy to mothering.  We're focusing on one each month.  You don't need a book to join the discussion- I'd love to hear your thoughts on each issue.  But if you want one, you can order it here. January's "Power": Acceptance We had some friends come over for New Year's Eve this week.  That means I spent all morning cleaning the kitchen, sweeping and mopping the floors, and dusting, straightening up, and vacuuming our living room.  The counters were clear and clean, the sink was empty and sparkling, and the floors were cleaner than they'd been since Christmas Break began. Then our guests came- and we all ate, and ate, played games, ate some more, shouted Happy New Year, and went to bed. I woke up to a crowded, cluttered, messy kitchen and a full sink- not even 24 hours after I'd spent all that time cleaning.  Times like these make me want to shake my fist at the heavens and cry "Why? Why? Why do I even bother?!?"

There are so many things like this in life.  You spend two hours organizing your son's Legos together, and two days later he dumps them all into a pile.  Laundry is constantly washing the same items.  (Wash, Dry, Fold, Repeat.)  You pack lunches every day.  You hang up the same jacket several times a day. Ladies, a mother's work is never done.  We have a choice: we can get mad, frustrated, and even depressed, or we can accept that it is part of motherhood. When you're younger and you envision what it will be like being a mother, you think of the sweet moments with your babies, reading stories to your children, comforting your crying daughter, etc.  Motherhood, by definition, is nurturing, protecting, and caring for another.  The reality, as quoted in our book, is "vastly different from the visions [we] had nurtured for so many years" (p.3)    Motherhood is "endless whining, crying, mess-making, disciplining, shopping, coaxing, budgeting, negotiating, laundering, calendaring, cooking, cleaning, and the constant feeling that [you are] always forgetting something" (p.3)    Motherhood is hard.  But this truth, quoted in the book and written in M. Scott Peck's book The Road Less Traveled, hit me hard.       Life is difficult.... Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we truly understand and accept it--then          life is no longer difficult.  Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters." There's no such thing as "done" when you are a mother.  There are always tears to wipe, hugs to give, rides to offer, dinners to cook, laundry to do, etc.  This month, I am striving to come to peace with the fact that my job is never "done".  I need to stop trying to get to "done" and embrace my tasks with peace in my heart. When I faced my messy kitchen this morning, some of these thoughts ran through my head, and I was able to take a deep breath, work through the mess, and smile when the task was done (for now).  The kitchen was clean, and that brought me peace and a little brightness. In addition, I am working on accepting myself, faults and all.  I am trying to overcome the "Compare Snare" that all women struggle with, especially those of us who read blogs and/or Pinterest!  I will be working on recognizing "perfect" as a verb, not a noun; I will work to become my best self rather than trying to appear perfect.  I will work to remember that my best really is enough, and to watch my self-talk. What do you need to accept to be a better mother?  Join the conversation-- leave a comment below!

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